Simply Not Real
by Kipcha
Summary: Spoilers for Episode 12. They had already prevented this, they just had to find the Penguindrum. So why was the story still ending with Himari dying in his arms?


_**Spoilers** for **Episode 12**.  
>You have been warned. <em>

* * *

><p>This wasn't real.<p>

None of it. It simply could not be happening. They had already prevented this once. The problem had been fixed by that silly old penguin hat.

Right?

The sound of his footsteps racing down the halls of the hospital weren't real.

The pounding of fear racing through his veins weren't real.

The sweat sheening on his skin, making him shiver as the wind blew past it wasn't real either.

None of this could ever possibly be real.

And yet, he ran. He ran until he was sure his heart would burst from exertion. Because even though he was sure that none of this was actually happening, that this all had to be some horrible, horrible nightmare, the slightest possiblity that it _could_ be happening was enough to send his mind into an incomprehensible frenzy.

She couldn't die. Not his Himari.

_Himari._

"Shouma!" His voice rang, acting on its own. His mind was in too much of a flurry to be able to form actual words except for one.

_Himari!_

His voice, too, was not real and yet, he could still hear it so clearly. Odd, how dreams and nightmares can seem to realistic. But they are never true. So Himari was safe with him. "What happened?"

No response.

Panic. It may not have been real, but it certain as Hell felt like it.

His hands clenched into Shouma's flesh and he shook him violently.

"Hey, get yourself together, Shouma!"

This was just pissing him off. None of this was actually happening, so why the hell wouldn't he answer?

"Stop messing around!"

He paused, but when Shouma made no response, he growled in frustration. His hands found the hat that had once saved her, which would save her again, which had to save her again and he pushed into the room where she lay. White, colorless, bright and yet... So dark.

There she was.

Her eyes closed, her body still, her heart... Silent.

He dropped to her side, his hand moving out to touch her.

She couldn't be real.

He jerked himself back, he eyes closed in pain.

"Himari!"

Silence.

He placed the hat on her head. This always helped her, right? The princess, she would save Himari again! He would find the PenguinDrum, no matter what it meant! So the hat would save her once more! It had too!

"Look, the hat's right here." He told her. He grabbed her hand, ignoring the coolness of it, how it was already beginning to turn to ice. "You're better now, right? Wake up!"

There! The eyes glowed, just as they did before. They would solve everything!

In the distance, the sound of the monitor beeped.

His heart sped in anticipation, his mind working rapidly as the Princess made her arrival. The brilliant, flashing colors. The large, exaggerated mecha. The flowing costume that would gradualy disintigrate as she made her way towards him.

And then it went dark.

That could not possibly be real.

And yet, there she lay. Frail. Weak.

Dying.

No.

_Himari_.

He raced to her side.

"Come on, I transferred part of my life to you! Don't tell me you forgot our deal!"

None of this was real and yet... He felt furious.

He grasped her shoulders, pulling her up.

"SAY SOMETHING!"

She breathed weakly, her eyes slowly beginning to open as she struggled to speak. "It seems the price I took from you before... Has ran out of juice."

Something in him collapsed.

_Himari_.

"In any case, it is too late. I shall go back. As such, this girl's life will end."

The Princess raised Himari's hand to his own, clasping it weakly. She turned her gaze up towards him, her eyes glowing magenta in the dim, an almost loving glaze to them. "This is goodbye."

_NO!_

_Don't take her, anyone but her!_

"Go back where?"

"The Destination of Fate."

Her grip grew fainter, her hand falling from his own.

_Take me instead, please!_

"Once more!" He insisted, pulling her closer to his chest. Couldn't she feel it? He was warm. Alive. He could help her! "Can you do it once more?"

He tore his shirt from his chest, revealing the place where his heart still beat.

"I will pay for Himari's life with my own. That should work."

"It's no use." She told him calmly, "It's akin to love. Akin to a first kiss. It only works once."

"You'll never know until you try." He snapped, growing impatient. Every second took Himari further away. If he allowed her to drift any farther, she may not... "Come on, hurry and take it!"

She sighed, a flickering red reflecting in her eyes that he could not see. "The Scorpion's soul is burning bright red."

She stood, slowly, painfully, her clothes beginning to fall away and leaving her small form completely and utterly vulnerable to him. Her eyes, however, were grim and held his own. "Very well. Let's initiate the Survival Strategy."

Her beautiful hand reached towards him, for him, inside him, seeking what she needed to desperatly to survive.

And she found it.

Suddenly, the pain that flashed through his body was overwhelming, filling his very veins with fire and ice. He grasped her forcefully, pulling her to him to escape the pain the raced through every fibre of his body. It was all worth it though. It was all worth it for her. Himari was everything and he would travel through the depths of Hell to find her again. This pain would fade, but the anguish of losing her would be with him for the rest of his life and after. He could not allow himself to fail.

_Himari_.

A strangled scream escaped his lips, her hands grasping his very soul. But he held her to him.

She was killing him.

But it was alright.

Because Himari would survive.

Then, suddenly, she was pulling away, timid, her desire wavering. Leaving him. She knew she was hurting him and against his will, she was going to give up.

_Himari_.

_NO!_

He grabbed her wrist, forcing her back towards it, towards him. Himari had to live.

Even if it meant him dying for it.

She could see it in his eyes, their bodies to close together and yet, they were drifting apart. She could survive, she could continue living as she always had.

So why was her heart beat slowing?

Why was the color draining from her face?

Why was the light leaving her eyes?

_WHY COULDN'T HE SAVE HER?_

Just like that, he was back in the hospital room, grasping her hand for dear life as she fled from her body, leaving him alone.

How could he have failed her?

"Himari."

The hat fell.

His hands clasped hers with every ounce of strength he had.

The Princess collided with the floor, a dull thud sounding like a gunshot and sending a wave of agony through his very soul.

She died.

"Why? WHY COULDN'T IT BE ME?"

And so did he.

* * *

><p><em>Oh gosh, this scene. Just... This scene.<em>

_It was so beautiful I just could resist. I don't normally support incest AT ALL, but Himari and Kamba are the single exception. Their relationship has been so pure and so sweet that I can't help but love them together and as if that hadn't been enough, episode 12 wiped away any kind of doubt I ever had. _

_Mawaru Penguindrum, you may yet just become one of my favorite series of all time._


End file.
